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Saturday, November 05, 2005

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I really want to move.

like with my dad or something.

Just for a few months.

Then, I wouldn't have to deal with my mom making me feel like shit.

Always making me feel worse then I do about myself.

don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming it all on her, I'm a huge burden to her also.

I take things more serious when she says them to me,

Then again, why would she say the things she does if she didn't mean it.

 

I guess she's just honest.

I should know the truth by now, it hurts.

 

Not as much as I'd like to hurt myself right now.

I really want to hurt myself, like bad, I don't deserve to just live like this without some sort of punshment.

 

I hate just living right now.

 

I'm so sad, I just don't even want to live anymore.

 I can't take this, I just want to sleep, never wake up.

I want to go away.

I want to feel purpose, I want a hug, really bad, just a long hug that never ends, I just want love.

 

is that really to much.

 

I feel so unstable right now, so unsafe, I'm scared of myself.

 

I, just want to leave just leave.

 

I don't want to be here, I really really don't want to be here.

 

I'm sorry for telling you my problems.

 

I just, I don't know.

I'd probally rather be at palos or something right now.

I don't know what to do.

 

<3

 

 


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